One year. It had taken Harry a whole year and one and a half tours to get over her, or so he thought. Tonight they were back on home turf at the O2 and it was dredging up old feelings of the last time he had been home. He had been set up on a date with a mutual friend only for her to stand him up. He had spent the night drowning his sorrows in alcohol until he had found himself outside ’s door at two in the morning looking for sympathy and a potential late night booty call. At the time he had had a habit of only wanting her when things weren’t going his way – some friend he was. She was good to him too; far too good, sticking around time and time again only to be dropped at a seconds notice. It was only when he was sober that he realised that affects his behaviour had on her. No wonder she had left.

He remembered constantly pestering her best friend, , for even the smallest of details about her new life to no avail. was a strong willed woman and she had been under strict instruction to keep him as far away from as possible. It was only now that he had begun to understand why. He wasn’t any good to her; their friendship had definitely been one-sided on her part for a long time and he knew that things had begun to turn toxic for the pair of them.

He knew he could never undo all the hurt he had caused her and it pained him so. She had loved him and he had been nothing but mean to her. He liked to think he had grown up somewhat in the time she had been gone. If only he could prove that to her.

He watched from the side of the stage as their support act, 5 Seconds of Summer, performed. They were a great band for getting the audience raring to go. He briefly looked into the crowd, noticing a flurry of hair running to find their seat. Something about the girl struck him as familiar. It couldn’t be her. Could it? He knew she had dyed her hair a few months after he had last seen her but he wasn’t sure if it was her. His eyes followed the girl as she made her way through the clusters of people. A hand clapped onto his shoulder snapping him out of his gaze. He shook himself. He looked back out but he couldn’t trace her and anyway, it just couldn’t be her.

Even when he entered the stage he continued to look for her to no avail. The rest show of the show went without a hitch. That was until about half way through when Niall came bounding over. Harry took out one of his in-ears to hear his friend better.

“’s here.”

“What? Where?”

“Over…. Oh,” he had lost her, “I swear she was here.”

Harry moved closer to the audience causing them to scream out in joy even more but the screams fell on deaf ears. The same flurry of hair caught his eye and he almost believed that he was dreaming when she briefly turned around and he caught a glimmer of her face; but there she was clear as day running away; running from him again.

He paused at the edge of the stage, watching after her. He wanted nothing more than to run after her. He turned on his heel making a beeline for the side of the stage but a handler held him back, pushing him back onto the stage. He felt his eyes well-up as he lifted his microphone to his lips;

“I’m sorry.”

#

A couple of weeks later Harry found himself back on the tour bus heading to a signing. When he wasn’t performing, he could either be found in bed at a home or in his bunk on the bus. He was simply too sad to function. He could barely move from one place to the next without some form of guidance; his eyes had seemed to be glued shut from all the tears he had cried.

He was huddled over in his bunk when the curtains were suddenly ripped open and the light from outside came flooding in, hurting his already sore eyes.

“Right mate; get up. We’re going in now.”

He tried to swat Louis away but his dark-haired friend was persistent.

“Up. Now!” he forcibly pulled his friend over onto his side, grabbing him by the hand and pulling him out of the bunk.

“Go away, Lou!” he pushed himself away, almost hitting his head off of the wooden side of the bunk above.

“No. We have fans to meet and you have to be there whether you want to or not,” he pulled him towards the bus door, “Come on.”

“Fine,” he was too tired to argue. He hadn’t been sleeping properly since he had seen her face and now she was back, haunting his dreams like she had when she had first left. It had taken him some time to sober up to the fact that he couldn’t have her; that she wouldn’t let him back into her life no matter how hard he tried to get to tell her he had changed. Now after all this time she was back but why? To torture him? It was certainly working. He couldn’t eat or sleep because of her and it was driving him insane. It was history repeating itself and he hated it, hated the fact that she had this much of an effect on him after he swore he had been cured of his love for her. It wasn’t her fault, he knew, but he just couldn’t work out why she has been so cruel as to turn up out of the blue when he had fought for months to find her and she clearly hadn’t been interested.

He let Louis guide him out of the door to the hundreds of screaming fans and no matter how hard he tried to smile, he just couldn’t. He wasn’t in the mood to have people telling him they loved him when he only wanted to hear it from her. They were ushered much to quickly through the back door of the CD store they were appearing at with barely enough time to even say “hello” to their fans or thank them for waiting for them.

The signing passed by in a blur of “hi” and “thank you” with the occasional fainting girl. It was pretty much the same old formula as every other signing. He spent most of it with his head down, staring firmly at his pen as his hand wrote out his signature at least a few hundred times and barely taking in any of the features on his fans’ faces. They were about an hour into the signing when Liam nudged him:

“Cheer up, mate. Please?”

He gave him a small, forced smile and turned his attention to the next fan that had been thrust in front of him. His heart felt fit to burst when he looked up and caught the eyes of someone all too familiar. His mouth formed the word “oh” but he suddenly found himself unable to speak. She was already half way out of sight when he found his voice again:

“, wait!”

Harry paced around his room, drink in hand and earbuds in. He was far too restless to sleep and he sought comfort in his only real friend; music. He was angry at her for showing up at the signing and even more so for running away but at the same time his heart craved for her. His thoughts were cut off by what he thought was a knock. He set his glass down, taking one earbud out and listening to the noises of the house but he couldn’t hear anything. He took his other earbud out, shutting off his iPod and throwing it on the bed. He looked at the clock; 2AM. That particular time seemed to haunt him.

He heard a thud followed by an “oww” and he chose to investigate it. It had come from the spare room. Louis had taken to staying there ever since ’s first appearance. He had been shaken to the core when Niall had run over to say he had seen her. He had been disappointed when Niall had failed to point her out. She had seemingly disappeared into thin air just like she had done a year ago.

A window creaked open at the front of the house.

“?” he could clearly hear Louis ask.

His heart started beating wildly. She was here. He padded across the hallway, trying to keep quiet. The door was open ajar and he put his ear to the gap between it and the doorframe as he listened to Louis talk.

“What are you doing here?”

He strained to hear her answer but her voice was too faint. He opened the door fully, catching Louis off guard.

“Sorry, mate,” he felt Louis pat his back as he tilted his head towards the window.

He ran to the window, resting his palms on the window frame as he searched the grounds for her but she was gone.